


What War Has Done

by Kelandry5



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Assassination, Assassins & Hitmen, Guilt, M/M, Self-Hatred, Short, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-03
Packaged: 2019-01-08 17:34:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12258921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelandry5/pseuds/Kelandry5
Summary: War is their new reality and Kuroko is now an assassin, but the guilt of his actions weighs heavily on him and he wonders how Akashi can still love him.





	What War Has Done

Kuroko glared at the sniper rifle in his hands as he polished in once again. He hated the gun just like he hated the knives tucked away in various places on his body. Just like he hated what he used those weapons for. Just like he hated who he had become. Like he hated this war. Like he hated everything.

But for all his hate, he cleaned his tools dutifully and preformed his job as an assassin flawlessly. He could almost laugh. He had been a terrible shot on the basketball court, but give him a gun or even a knife to throw, and he never seemed to miss. The fact he hated hurting others only made the circumstances more ironic.

Thinking about it, he couldn’t stop a slight but cynical giggle from escaping his throat. His hand slapped over his chapped lips the moment the sound reached his ears. He shouldn’t be laughing.

“Tetsuya?” A familiar voice broke through Kuroko’s thoughts. Raising his head, his eyes locked with Akashi Seijuro’s.

“Sorry Seijuro,” Kuroko mumbled.

“For what, Love?”

Kuroko blushed at the pet name and tore his eyes away from the red ones of his lover. “For laughing.”

“You’re allowed to laugh. You should do it more often,” Akashi’s lips stretched into a gentle smile as he crossed the floor. He lowered himself onto the floor next to Kuroko. “I am curious as to what made you laugh though. It’s a sound I hardly hear anymore.”

“It was nothing funny, I can assure you of that.”

“Oh? Well, I won’t force you to share.”

Kuroko nodded, his attention back on the rifle in his hands. He finished cleaning it before setting it aside with forced care.

With the rifle out of his hands, he leaned into Akashi’s side and took his hand. The familiar scent of cinnamon greeted his nose making him feel a bit calmer. If only he could stay like this forever. If only he never had to kill again. If only the war would be over. If only he could remember this scent of cinnamon when the metallic scent of blood assaulted him.

If only a lot of things. But those things could not be and he had work to do. With a sigh, Kuroko pulled away.

“Tetsuya?” Akashi squeezed Kuroko’s hand which was still intertwined with his.

Kuroko squeezed back. “I have a mission tonight. I have to leave soon.”

“Oh.” Akashi let go and looked down at his lap. “My father neglected to tell me he was sending you out again.”

“I’ll be back before dawn.” Kuroko placed a chaste kiss on Akashi’s cheek and stood up.

Akashi watched as Kuroko checked each of his knives and filled a pack with flash and smoke bombs, lock picks, and various tools. When the pack was closed, he stood too and wrapped his arms around Kuroko’s waist from behind while nuzzling his face into Kuroko’s neck and giving it a quick kiss.

“Seijuro?” Kuroko’s voice came out as a whisper.

“Yes?”

“How….how can you still love me after all I’ve done; after all the people I’ve killed?”

As hard as he tried, Kuroko couldn’t keep a few tears from leaking out the corner of his eyes. Akashi’s embrace tightened at the crack in Kuroko’s voice.

“I’ve killed too. We had to. We did it to survive, Tetsuya.”

“What you have done and what I have done are different!” Kuroko shouted. “Your life is being threatened when you kill, but me? I just… there’s no threat. I sneak up and… I don’t even give them a chance to fight… it’s different,” he sobbed, his whole body shaking.

Unwrapping his arms, Akashi forced Kuroko to face him. He brushed away the tears with his thumb then took both of Kuroko’s hands in a tight grip. “Tetsuya. They were a threat to us.  Maybe they weren’t in that moment, but if they had lived, many innocent lives may have been lost.”

“So that gives me the right to take theirs?”

Akashi sighed, “you did what you had to do. Just like we all have. This is war.”

“I hate war.”

“As do I,” Akashi pulled Kuroko into another hug, “but please don’t hate yourself. If you must hate someone, hate the enemy. Hate my father for telling you to do this. Hate me for letting him if you must. Just… don’t hate yourself.”

“I could never hate you,” Kuroko shook his head. Hesitantly, he placed his arms around his lover and gripped the fabric of his shirt. “And I can’t stop hating what I’ve done, but-“

“Don’t go tonight.” Akashi interrupted. “I’ll tell my father you aren’t doing this anymore.”

“That won’t change what I’ve already done.”

“Still, you won’t have to do it anymore. He can find someone else.”

“No.” Kuroko pulled away and wiped his eyes.

“No?”

“I’m sorry for getting so upset. You’re right. This is war. What we do here…it’s to survive.”

“Tetsuya-“

“I’m not going to put this burden on someone else.”

Tetsuya…”

Kuroko shook his head and turned away grabbing his pack. This was not the time for this and Akashi had more important things to worry about than his lovers guilt and ability to do his damn job. Akashi was right that this was war. They all were killers now. How they killed didn’t matter. Getting upset over it was pointless. He was doing what was necessary for them to survive. Squeezing his eyes shut tightly, he willed his emotions to calm down and his thoughts to focus on the task at hand. Then he forced his lips into a smile and turned back to face Akashi.

“I have to go. I’ll be back before dawn but please don’t wait up,” he said, shouldering his pack.

Akashi nodded. “Just come back safe.”

Something Akashi couldn’t identify flickered in Kuroko’s eyes.

Kuroko gave Akashi a chaste kiss on the lips then quickly turned towards the door.

“Hey,” Akashi caught Kuroko’s hand, “this is only temporary.”

 Tetsuya turned to face Seijuro once again meeting eyes. “Life is temporary. Everything is temporary. That doesn’t make this easier.”

“Tets-“

“Forget it. I have to go.”

Pulling away, Tetsuya rushed from the room as quickly as his legs could carry him. Seijuro meant well, but those last words echoed in Tetsuya’s head like a threat more than a comfort as he hurried off to his next assignment.


End file.
